How to Build Closer Relationships with Everybody

A way to approach someone
Should we have a target
It depends on your intention
Either it is good or bad

Hello Mas Bro and Mbak Bro,

Ever got to approach someone?

Before we get it too far, what we mean here by building a relationship is not only about male and female having a romantic relationship, it’s more than that, not limited only to that particular relationship. It’s wider to many other relationships.

We can have a relationship with our business partner, member of organization, new employee, new student, new lecturer, new teacher, new friends and even someone we never know before.

Even though the purpose of this writing is to give you advices of how to approach someone we don’t know, but you can also use these tips to approach someone you have already known.

You can apply them to re-connect a relationship, make up with your girl/boy friend and your friend, approach to your upset boss, to fierce professor, and to everyone you try to connect with. Also, it’d be an effective way for a halal campaign, not only building a brand image.

And what are they?

1.Have a Life Principle

Oftentimes, guys always try to approach beautiful girls and vice versa.. umm, we mean, good looking girls always try to give a signal to nice guys so that they will approach them? “Does it merely catch attention or we call it pedekate?”

Pedekate or an attempt to approach someone is a normal way to get to know someone. But it will be pointless if we are only curious about the person. We should fix a real purpose.

Why do we want to know him/her?

Is it because we want him/her to be our boy/girl friend?

Is it for business purpose?

Is it to gain a good mark?

What is our purpose?

After understanding your real purpose, now you should have a strong principle. Because as you try to interact with someone, you will unconsciously try to match your personality with his/her in order he/she wants to accept you. You’ll tend to do what he/she likes.

The easiest thing to approach someone is by looking for your similarity. However, you can’t lose your own character, you can’t sacrifice your own personality just to please him/her. You should have a strong stance.

For example, you and your new friend apparently happen to be fond of games. He’s used to play for 24 hrs and often leave his class out of this. In the other hand, you only play game on and off, just to kill the time. When he asks you to leave class for playing game the whole day, how’d you respond?

What will you do?

When the gap comes, you have to be able to decide. When we refuse his request, it doesn’t mean we refuse him entirely. We just show him our attitude towards it.

Note that!

2. Find Similarity

“Where’re you from?”, asked someone.

“I’m from Medan”, replied us.

“Ow, where part of Medan’re you from?”, asked him enthusiastically

“Amplas, are you from Medan as well?”, responded us enthusiastically

Ever been in that situation?

Sometimes that similarity may get us closer to someone. In many cases, same origin can bring us closer to a person we haven’t known. Besides, having same emotional feeling will also likely take us bit closer to someone with same feeling. For instance, both of you don’t like politics, and have same habit to turn alarm off and continue sleeping, or same hobby – love to play football and or have same dream – to build your village.

Any similarity can be a gateway for better communication, hence, closer relationship. No matter who he/she is. It is a very effective way.

Let’s us see below example of what kind of similarities can bring us closer to each other:

• Business partners,

Similarity on earning benefit

• New scholar student,

Similarity on looking for new friend

• Upset lover,

Similarity on guilty feeling and apologize to each other

• Confused boss,

Together to find solution to make him happy

• Fierce thesis consultant,

Both the consultant and people who use his service need each other. Ask what he/she prefers, money or goods. Perhaps you two have same preference of reading a book by Pandji Pragiwaksono? Who knows?

Basically, there isn’t a fix standard of how to find similarities. Find anything that’ll make you and your new friend engage in interesting communication. Even you both have a common bad experience, you can even share it and will make your relationship even more closer. Example, both of you ever misused drugs but finally made out to free from it.

You can start finding information about the person you want to have a relationship with. Find something in common between you and him/her. Next, start to build communication.

3. Build Communication

Once you find something in common between you and the new person, then next step will be much easier. You can start a topic about what both of you know. For example, you both love football, and then start talking about football, how the match went last night, etc.

It’s proven to be a very effective way like an electric strike that will make him/her to respond to your questions.

Although, you’re now comfortable enough by having something in common, but don’t lose yourself, and act out as if you know everything. It will give a wrong impression to him/her. Just stay calm, and be yourself.

Because this will determine how the relationship go on next level.

4. Maintain a Relationship

Even if we want to start an immediate relationship, you can’t do it in a hurry.  Sometimes we need to press the gas, sometimes we need to release it. Just like when we operate kites.

The important thing is we need to know when we have to press the gas and when to release it. We can do that by knowing when his/her happy and grief moment happen. When it comes to happy moment, you can start to approach him/her then after a while stand back when the mood is still good.

Again, when the grief moment comes, do intensive approach to him/her more than what you do at happy moment. Be there till the sorrow ends.

“Be there at the lowest point of somebody’s life till the problems end”

@kekitaan

Why should we intensively presence at his/her sad moment?

Cause that’s the moment when we can offer our help and he/she will feel our presence. He/she will finally concludes that “Oh, you’re always there for me, no matter sad or happy”

“Never let somebody alone when he/she is sad”

@kekitaan

5. Try to be Presence

“Meeting too often isn’t good”

@kekitaan

This is not about getting bored. But it’s more than that. There’ll be a time when people want to be all by themselves. When we’re trying to approach someone, we have to care for him/her. We should know when he/she’d like to be alone so we won’t make him/her feel uncomfortable because of our presence.

This is also related with when you should press the gas and when release it. This is very important cause as you’ve learned how to understand him/her, it’ll be easier for you to build a relationship.

You want to make it easy and quick, right?

So, there’s no other ways then to understand the people. Try to be there at his/her crucial moment of life but don’t always appear.

Got it?

Now it’s clear for you to know how to approach someone new in a easy and quick way. Should you have any question, please drop your comment below.

Hope it useful.

Great to share with you all.

Little kid cries make us touched
That’s how Indonesian kid does
Not difficult to find a new friend
You only make them the happiest

Picture Resources:

www.ahmadmuhaiminalfarisy.wordpress.com accessed at 01.35 p.m on Thursday, 14 July 2016
www.fotocommunity.com accessed at 01.24 p.m on Thursday, 14 July 2016
www.klikbontang.com accessed at 01.22 p.m on Thursday, 14 July 2016
www.mimpiterus.com accessed at 01.57 p.m on Monday, 11 July 2016
www.parascantik.co.id accessed at 01.47 p.m on Friday, 09 September 2016
www.riosaputra.com accessed at 02.07 p.m on Monday, 11 July 2016
www.teruskan.com accessed at 01.28 p.m on Thursday, 14 July 2016